The twin suns of Tatooine hang high over the horizon in the distance.
Three cloaked Klingons trudge across the harsh desert terrain towards a small space craft in the distance. The glowing eyes of Jawas line the rocky outcrops and in the distance sand people can be heard howling to each other.
Banthas can be seen in their herds in the distance.
No one approaches these strangers everyone keeps their distance.
As the party nears the space craft a ramp lowers and two figures emerge into the harsh glare of the twin suns.
One is the beautiful, radiant princess Leia Organa. She wears a troubled look on her gorgeous youthful face.
Troubles that a young beautiful lady of her age should never dream of let alone live on a daily basis.
Her companion is the mighty Chewbacca , who looks like a wookie always does, brown and furry and ready to fight.
The three figures lower the hoods on their cloaks to reveal they are Klingons!
They are MogH, D'Ghor and the female Valkris
Representing a splinter faction of the great Klingon house Martok, they are here to settle a grudge with the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt and give the beautiful princess Leia the means to do it for them.
Jabba owes them a lot of money after the dashing Han Solo had to dump a shipment he was carrying for Jabba who in turn was handling the deal for the klingons.
Feeling humiliated the Klingons want Jabba, Solo and anyone else involved dead.
Poor, beautiful Leia doesn't know this …. Yet!
Few words are exchanged between parties, the mighty chewbacca growls angrily at the three confidant he could tear them limb from bloody limb.
Money is exchanged and Leia is given a thermal detonator and instructed on how to use it.
Leia feels like she is being led into a trap. Unaware her feelings are really her as yet unknown force powers kicking in.
She writes it off as unease and nerves about what lies ahead of her.
The klingons put their hoods back up and trudge towards Jabbas palace to further carry out their plans.
Left alone with the mighty Chewbacca, Leia airs her concerns to the wookie who barks and growls in a fashion that displays he too is apprehensive.
Even though it is similar to how he, his best friend Han Solo and the Dagobah dwelling Luke Skywalker rescued the princess he is now company to all those years ago.
Something is afoot, Chewie can feel it in his Wookie bones!
The dashing if somewhat treacherous Lando Calrisian was sent to Jabba's palace a few months ago hoping to work his way into the Hutts circle of trust.
No one has heard from Lando in weeks! he is missing presumed gone!
Luke's trusty droids, C3-PO and Artoo Deetoo were also sent to Jabba as a gift with a message from Luke himself.
R2 is now a robot waiter and Threepio is working as a translator after Jabba broke the last one when he shot the messenger!
Leia dons her bounty hunter disguise and tries to calm the mighty chewbacca down so she can put the massive pair of handcuffs required to manacle a Wookie on.
Eventually they start to make their way towards destiny!
While unseen by anyone the trio of Klingons load Jabbas sail barge with crates of explosives!!
I'm a primary school teacher and this is the worst thing I have ever read.
ReplyDeletePeople like you shouldn't be allowed to to write
YELLOW ON BLACK MY EYEEEES MY POOR POOR BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm dead
ReplyDeleteWell, there's 30 seconds of my life I will never get back...
ReplyDeleteI wish the trio of klingons would load my head with explosives and detonate after reading that shite. Iv read better articles in vizz. Also why didn't leia get her baps out??? And its not c3po anymore its 'shiney sheldon'
ReplyDelete"All those years ago"? Any fan with two brain cells to rub together would know that the events at Jabba's sail barge happened less than three years after Leia was rescued. Not to mention that the film clearly shows a period of at least a week between Leia's arrival and the fight on the sail barge - what the hell were the Klingons supposed to be doing in that time? Did they get lost?
ReplyDeleteWere you dropped on your head as a child, or were you born this stupid?
Really? That's all this world needs--more Star Trek and Star Wars fan fiction. Ugh. You know, the least you could do would be to make sure things were semi-accurate in it. But no. You have to go and screw it all up. You should be shunned.
ReplyDeleteHey! Mr Klingons and proper sci-fi. That's Lando Calrissian by the way! At least you got the twin stars of Tatooine right. You could have mentioned that they were K and G types, mind, or that the cooler star set first.
ReplyDeleteWaste of space telling you if you can't get the basics right, but Star Trek and Klingons were from our Milky Way. Star wars begins in 'a galaxy far, far away'. I thought everyone knew that! Christ even my mum knows that.
I suppose I'd give it to you, if you said Star wars pre-movies was 33rd century milky way, but I don't think you know that much.